Tea Time

The "game over" usually refers to Starcraft. As for the "gumma", it's a local take on the word "shema", which means "what". The local language in my town occasionally got to a point of laziness where the sound "sh" was just too much trouble to pronounce, as I was explained.

Alcohol Matters

 

Please note that I have very little clue about brewing beer and alcohol in general, so the accuracy of this comic is a bit null. The idea is still there though, the same beer will taste different almost every time, and a few of my coworkers would joke saying "it depends on the kind of day they had at the brewery" that determines the quality.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day in China is a funny thing. First of all, they have their own Valentine's kinds of day in August, but since westernization and commercialism are very big, V-Day can be a huge thing. Who doesn't love love? What I found most funny was the popularity of what we call "junk food chain restaurants" to be the cream of the crop in the Middle Kingdom. You don't go to McDonalds cause you have the midnight munchies. That's just too pricey. (a regular giant ass delicious noodle soup will set you back about 6rmb, a crummy fast food meal though at least 20rmb, so...do the math) You DO go there on a date however, and V-Day, they are PACKED. Every western fast food joint in my town was full to the brim. I wouldn't be surprised if you needed to reserve a table.

7 Dollars

"Western" food is quite pricey in China, especially if it's imported. While there is plenty of Chinese junk food, it's more along the lines of "sweet beef jerky, dried wasabi peas, dried fruit, nuts, some festive cakes with lots of dried fruit and seeds in them) So...the nasty effects on your body don't even compare. Fresh produce at a local market however....cheap, plentiful and always fresh. So next time you wonder about the relative health levels of Chinese vs our western countries, here's a thought for you.

Subtle Differences

This one is set in Canada. Chinatown area of my city. It's amazing how grammar can make you chuckle. 

Supersize Me

I always found it funny when I would walk into a supermarket

and there you see some thing on sale, like "buy one

get one at a discount". Which apparently means: 

Chocolate bar: 1yuan.

Buy 2: 2 yuan.

Some sale huh? There was also a curious thing where you couldn't really get a large quantity of anything imported. One size is all you got. Hence anytime you felt a bit of that chocolate monster in you...you had to look like an idiot.

Passport Photos

 

Have you ever owned even ONE nice passport photo in your life? You know exactly how this goes: you get a good night sleep, throw a few boxes of powder and makeup on your face (hell, might as well just take an industrial paintbrush to it for all the good that does), do your hair and get to that corner shop that takes passport photos only to be told to tuck your chin in so you look like you have 5, make the most serial killer-esque facial expression and sit there awkwardly not knowing when exactly the photo is actually taken? And every time, it still looks like you dunked your head in a barrel of oil before you took that photo.

In China, I found people to look like supermodels in all their passports. Then, one unsuspecting morning at 7 am I got a phone call to get mine taken, with my boss waiting impatiently outside my door. Rushing out in pyjamas, still jetlagged and confused, I didn't really care what they would look like. The result was amazing. So much photoshop...didn't even know that was legal. 

Voila..proof!

Hygenic Differences

 

This kind of thing would happen EVERY time I laid my eyes on some handsome guy. Every time. 

 

Hygenic norms are a bit different between the east and west. The point in China is to rid your body of all nasty, ill things, which is all good, minus the ways a lot of people choose to get rid of them. This involves growing out the pinkie nail to pick any crevice on your body (yup, I said ANY), snot rockets, and extraordinarily loud coughing up of who knows what. However, me coughing in my elbow when I would have a cold was seen as disgusting and unhygienic. Why would I cough my own germs on myself? Kind of has some sense to it but... I'm still divided.

I think this one needs little explanation...the constant mental struggle of a western girl in China.

Construction

Construction takes place in China 24/7 it seems. Sometimes you wake up and there is a new house where there was nothing the night before. It's a little freaky. But sometimes you forget that...and perhaps have no curtains in your own apartment and a giant window for a wall. As a result...

"Assless Chaps"

Many friends in China tried to explain to me that our concept of diapers is unhygienic and frankly disgusting: why walk around with shit smeared on your bottom? While I suppose they have a completely valid point, stepping into baby poo every once in a while, or walking by a mother and child right as she flips them over and a stream shoots nearly in your face really makes you question this custom.